The brotherhood of cigar fetishists
Story by: Race Bannon
Photography by: McKenzie James
October 2, 2019
Puffing on a favorite cigar while hanging out with your kink brethren, or playing with a hot man, conjures up a special kind of masculine erotic ethos. Cigars and sex just seem to go together. Although smoking cigars during sex is nothing new, the fetish appears to be increasingly popular today.
Growing up around this particular fetish is a subculture of men bonded by their love of cigars and the charged atmosphere that manifests itself when this passion is shared. Some revel in the pure fetish of the cigar itself, some consider it another sensual implement in their bag of tricks, while others see it simply as a transformative tool that fosters a sense of masculinity.
What seems universal among these cigar aficionados though, is a sense of fraternity. Much like men united by a specific gear fetish, or sexual activity, cigarmen gravitate to one another. Even when not engaged in play, the sense of community cigar smokers create is palpable when you’re in their presence.
I asked Jon Strmiska, the administrator for Smokin Hot Cigarmen, one of the world’s most popular Facebook groups for gay cigar-smoking men and their admirers, why he thinks cigarmen bond over their fetish.
“Men get together to talk and smoke, smoke and talk,” says Strmiska. “All of this is over a cigar or two, and that leads to what men do… sex. The fetish aspect of the cigar carries over from the relaxed familiarity and comfort that comes from birds of a feather flocking together.” “Basically, I’m saying men of like mind who share a common interest in cigars also often share the fetish aspect of cigars and cigar play,” he adds. “That familiarity lends itself to a comfortable transition to sex.”
“Cigars and sex just seem to go together.”
This past summer, the gamut of attractions that cigars spawn were present for me in the span of a few hours. I was surrounded by lush hills in a rural valley resort. I was one of 150 men gathered at GearUp Weekend 100 miles north of San Francisco to commune and play away from the urban rat race—one of those kink weekends I’m grateful exists.
Standing before me were two handsome men bound together by rope, face-to-face, arms around each other, fastened to a hoist hook above their heads. On the other side of them was a close friend of mine. We were about to flog the two bound men, but I chose to stop for a moment. My slave was about 20 feet away, prepared to watch whatever was about to unfold. I signaled to him with a quick mime of a cigar and two fingers held up, indicating he should prepare two cigars for my friend and me.
The selection of cigars is vast, and dedicated cigar smokers tend to have their favorite types. They come in a few standard shapes and a range of lengths and girths, from small to mouth-stretchingly huge. An array of tobacco and wrappers are crafted together to produce a special cigar experience, each eliciting its own look, flavor, scent, and feel. I knew the cigars I had with me at GearUp, while not as thick and strong as my friend usually liked, were ones he’d smoked with me previously and enjoyed.
The first cigar was unwrapped by my slave and the head was carefully snipped open with a cutter. The tobacco was first warmed over a lighter’s flame. He slowly rotated the cigar to ensure an even heat, then lowered it closer to the flame until the glow stayed lit.
Quickly, my slave held the cigar to his mouth and gently puffed a few times. Satisfied that the cigar was properly lit, he handed it to my friend, who placed it in his mouth with a double winking nod of thanks; first to my slave, then me.
Again, the second cigar was unwrapped and the same ceremonial rite took place: the cigar was placed in my mouth, and my slave returned to his chair to watch.
For an hour, my friend and I flogged the bound duo intensely. We would periodically pause, look each other in the eyes, take a long draw on our cigars, then come in for a deep, passionate kiss as the smoke billowed in our mouths. We’d part and begin flogging again. The same pattern was repeated many times.
At one point, I paused and walked over to my friend. I showed him the long ash that had formed on the lit end of my cigar. Our eyes locked, and he dropped to his knees as he’d done a few times before when we played. I saw him gather some spit and open his mouth in preparation, awaiting the receipt of my ash.
“Even when not engaged in play, the sense of community cigar smokers create is palpable when you’re in their presence.”
Many fetish guys enjoy cigars, and the act of smoking alone brings them all the kink satisfaction they need. But some of us play with cigars in a multitude of ways. Feeding a man ash is one of those ways, but one shouldn’t try this, or any cigar play, without some mentoring. That sort of guidance can only come from someone with a bit of experience. If interested, seek these guys out.
Later that same night, 20 of us were seated around a spontaneously formed circle, all smoking cigars, talking about the day’s happenings, and reflecting on how much fun we were all having. Lots of laughter. Lots of sharing of our fetishes and kinks as the smoke wafted into the night’s warm summer breeze.
That play scene and the evening’s subsequent gathering was a vivid representation of the deep, fraternal connections that cigars build among gay men. If cigars appeal to you, you’ll find welcoming, like-minded men all around the world. You might see such guys at your local bar if they have a smoking area. Several leather and kink events have begun to accommodate their cigar-smoking attendees. Whether it’s smoking at a Berlin street fair, the cigar space at CLAW in Cleveland, or at the world-famous Smokeout in Las Vegas, producers are realizing that providing a place for men to smoke cigars is important.
I’ve yet to meet a cigarman in such settings who wasn’t willing to speak to anyone who walked up politely to ask for some information. Cigar guys like to talk about their fetish and about how they use cigars in their play.
Cigars. Fetish. Sex. Kink. Brotherhood. They blended perfectly over the course of the entire GearUp weekend. New friendships were formed and existing ones were strengthened. It all mixed into an ideal carnal concoction of a community of men offering the best of fraternity—and smokin’ hot sex
