Written by: slave69porter
is the property of Master Douglas
(ChiefDaddyMaster on Recon)
Over the years, it has sometimes been approached by other bottoms/subs who have asked “how does one becomes a slave and what does being a slave entail”?
Firstly, who is it that others would ask it’s advice? it has been in full-time service for forty years to three different Masters. The Masters are very different in their approach, needs, and desires. We will go about how to navigate that later.
It firmly believes that being a slave is not simply a matter of wanting to be one, but an intrinsic part of one’s nature. Something that you feel at the very core of your being. It is not a thing that you can fake or play act your way through. That being said, the most direct response it can give is…that there is no one right answer.
Everybody is different. Every relationship is different no matter how the roles are defined. Be it a Master/slave, Sir/sub, Daddy/boy, Handler/pup, and on and on. What might work for Master A & slave a, would not necessarily work for Master A & slave b, or Master B & slave a. Like every other relationship between two (or more) there is a learning curve. it will attempt to share its thoughts, although it cautions that this should in no way be considered a tutorial or slaves manual for the reasons stated above. it is looking at this from the view of someone who has lived in a full-time committed Master/slave relationship, which has also been an inter-generational relationship and a marriage. Thus, there are three separate but interconnected dynamics that bring along a whole separate set of challenges for each. First, forget all the hot sex fantasies you have ever read. Although they can be enjoyable, they bear almost no hint of reality. Not to say there is not hot sex, but it certainly is not 24/7.
So, let’s begin: You are at an event, or in a bar, or cruising your favorite online dating sites when you see HIM. This man who appears to be the answer to every fantasy you’ve ever had. You think to yourself “Wish I could be HIS slave.” Oh, really now? You don’t know this person or anything about HIM. Being a slave is not some illusion of endless sex and happily ever after. It is a commitment as deep and serious as any marriage or similarly-committed relationship. It takes a lot of hard work and compromise, a variable period of adjustment, and is a continual learning process.
One of the first things it has always told guys is to begin by taking sex out of the equation. Yes, it will be a part of the relationship, but not the main part. If you are in it just for the sex, best walk away now. Being a slave is about committing to a life of service to the man you call Master. That service will take many forms and you will wear many hats. Some examples might be (but not limited to being):
- A cook
- A housecleaner
- A laundress
- A groundskeeper
- A chauffeur
- A bookkeeper
- A personal secretary
- and many more
Over time you should learn to anticipate your Master’s needs. Although being a slave puts you in a role of submission, is not a passive position.
There may come a day when life kicks you in the face and puts everything into a whole new trajectory. As an example, again drawing from its own experience. If your Master loses interest in any form of play or sex, what do you do? If He becomes gravely ill and you now find yourself in the position of being a full-time caregiver, how strong will your commitment be? Are you ready to assume control of running the household, making sure bills are paid, medical appoints made and kept, medications handled, speaking as a patient advocate? it could go on & on, but it thinks you can see where it is headed.
Becoming a slave DOES NOT mean abdicating responsibility for yourself or your life. It is actually accepting even more responsibility that you ever imagined. When it does come to sex, there may be activities that you enjoy that your Master is not interested in. There may be some activities that your Master enjoys that you are not interested in. This is where compromise comes in. It is best to know from the start whether your Master will allow you to seek those things outside of your relationship with Him or not. If you accept a Master’s collar, you are telling HIM that HE makes the rules and you are there to obey HIM. So, before accepting a Master’s collar, you had best make damn sure of what will be expected of you, and decide if that is something that you can live with. One of the worst things you could say is “I’ll do anything You want.” Really? What if He wants to pierce you, tattoo you, brand you, make you HIS full-service toilet, or even castrate you? If not, then it would be best to walk away before you make promises you cannot fulfill. It will save you both needless pain in the long run.
Although there is certainly no way that contracts can be legally binding, a Master/slave contract can be a very useful tool in helping establish the parameters on the relationship and leave each party with a clear understanding of what each party’s expectation are. Being completely open and honest with each other is essential to building the trust that is the foundation of a successful relationship. A breaching of the contact by either party signals if this Master isn’t the right one for you or if you are not the right slave for Him. Though the contract lays out the ground rules going into the relationship, it has always believed that part of being a good slave is to remain flexible and mold yourself to your Master’s desires. A slave’s greatest pleasure should come from knowing that it has served its Master well. You are there for His enjoyment and to see to His needs and desires and comfort. This can mean eating a certain food it has not enjoyed before, to engaging in certain play that it finds less then enjoyable. As for slave’s desires…let us go to back to the beginning.
You see this man that you wish to be a slave to. How to meet? If online, send a respectful message stating who you are, why you are contacting Him and ask for a chance to meet in person to discuss any possible mutual interests. Sending a message that simply says “hi,” “hey,” “wassup” or any similar familiar greeting will generally be ignored or get you ‘schooled’. Remember-even though he is not your Master, you should approach with respect.
Even if you approach respectfully, be prepared to graciously accept rejection. Again, everyone has their likes or dislikes. If you are in a bar or at an event, wait for a moment when there is a proper break or pause, and again, approach respectfully, asking for permission to introduce yourself and speak with Him. The MOST important thing to do is to be completely open and honest about your desires, experience and any medical or physical limitations you may have. You do have a right to expect the same from any potential Master. The more you know about each other going in, the better the chances of making this relationship you desire work. It will not be easy, but in the end, it will be worth it.
As it stated near the beginning, this is its personal thoughts and experience and in no way, constitutes the final word on the subject. No two people are alike, and everyone needs to chart their own course.
Now go out, and serve the Master of your dreams!