– Tim Brough
Drummer Magazine undoubtedly brought thousands of gay Leathermen into their authentic selves. But there had to be that gateway moment for us. The moment when you found that first magazine –– when you had your mind blown and your world cast wide open.
For me, it was during a radio broadcasting convention in 1989. I was staying at the Westin St Francis in San Francisco when I got hungry and decided to get something to eat. I went across the street and came upon a magazine stand with a little food rack. I saw it. A cover picture of a bare-chested man, in a vest and harness, standing against a wall of tit toys and CBT accessories, brown horseshoe moustache, and a look that said “pick me up.” I was transfixed, mesmerized and terrified at the same time. How could I get this magazine and this man back to my hotel room without being seen? Do I dare? There it was. My first Drummer.
I asked four other Leathermen in this article about how they came across their first Drummer. There were similarities and surprises to each story; how they brokered their “third coming out,” and the ways that Drummer influenced their experiences as Leathermen. Author Erik Sharpe appeared in Drummer, writing the story “The Bike.” (His current pen name is Eero Kivi, writing BDSM gay novels about the education of a naive young Marine Corps officer.) Master Ginger first found Drummer in 1982 or ‘83. “I got an early start. I was hanging out in the city (New York), and I saw it on a newsstand. The store was Village Cigars, on the corner of 7th Avenue South and Christopher Street.” Thor, who was 19. “I was attending my sophomore year at San Jose State University. A saw a copy in a newsstand in downtown San Jose, which was also a cigar store and had a variety of old arcade machines.” And in San Francisco, Master Ghee was a young man looking to discover his authentic self. “After I came out as [a] gay man in San Francisco and then about a year later I discovered my interest in leather actually started with boots. Then I discovered Drummer magazine somehow. I came across Drummer magazine and I would buy it from time to time.”
Discovering Drummer was just the first step. That newsstand in San Francisco was the first stop for me. I was so paranoid about being seen with a kinky magazine that I waited until later that evening when I figured there would be fewer people outside to see me, then went out to buy it. Back in my hotel room, I read it cover to cover multiple times, absorbing as much as I could. I was even more mortified that someone would discover it in my airline luggage so I sneaked out behind the hotel and slipped it into a dumpster. That led to trips to adult bookstores in Dover and Wilmington, Delaware to find fresh copies of Drummer and its offspring. Eric found his in DC Bookstores, while Master Ghee, Master Ginger, and Thor depended on stores and newsstands, Master Ginger and Thor eventually moved up to subscriptions. Master Ginger had also begun living in a 24/7 Master Slave relationship as a slave. His Master wanted his Drummer hand-delivered. “He used to give me a list of things he wanted me to pick up from the bookstores, and on the top of that list was Drummer magazine. Even though he had a subscription, he still wanted what he called a ‘newsstand copy.’ I would pick that up and when I would pick up his newsstand copy, I’d pick up one for him and one for me. I wanted a copy that I could read though, and I just loved reading through it with one hand on my copy and one hand on my cock. Just enjoying the reading, the pictures, and the fantasy.”
Having Drummer was more than just the confirmation of an identity. For Master Ghee it was sustenance. “I came across Drummer magazine and I would buy it from time to time. Then, when it came time, I eventually graduated from college in San Francisco and I returned to Singapore for National Service, and I have to say that those years would have been rougher if it were not for Drummer magazine. I brought three issues back (to Singapore) with me. That was before the internet. This would have been 1990, 1992. So those years, it wasn’t easy to find people who were into kink or leather, and I would use the magazines to keep me company, and to alleviate myself. They were my companions for those three years.”
Thor was an early traveler when it came to Drummer. When he first came across Drummer in San Jose, he vaguely remembered “it being issue 2 or 3. When I left for NYC about nine years later, I went through my incomplete stack of well-thumbed and a little ragged issues, and tore out the stories and articles that I most wanted to keep, throwing the rest away. But also many years later, a very good friend who was published under the nom de porn Victor Terry, gifted me his complete set, all the way back to Issue #1.”
Drummer also represented community. There were the personals that brought people together. I met several men not only through the personals, but through the Drummer spin-off magazine, Tough Customers. Eric even had a classified of his own, admitting to meeting several men through a picture ad [left]. Master Ginger met his Master through the personals, and Master Ghee began correspondences with men in North America. Master Ghee stated “There were some people in the USA and some in Canada. It was just letter writing. The magazines helped me but at the same time, I got into trouble, because through the personals, I would contact people. I started corresponding with them and then my parents got hold of the mail and found out I was gay. That led to a big fight and my father kicked me out of the house. But then, if he hadn’t kicked me out, I think that was the push for me to leave Singapore and return to San Francisco. After I graduated, I was very sad, I didn’t want to go back to Singapore, my heart was in San Francisco. While I was in Singapore, all I could think of was how and when I could get back to San Francisco. I wanted to return here and live my life openly as a gay Leatherman. “I had my feelings of being ashamed of my fetish and when I bought the magazine, I bought it with other magazines mixed in. I felt really silly for doing it.”
Family trouble and roommate issues were common with early Drummer devotees. Master Ginger recalled when his hidden stash got discovered as a younger man. “My parents found my magazines. I kept them in an attaché case that I kept in my closet. One day, when my Mom was looking for something in my room, the attaché case fell off of its shelf and popped open on the floor. I remember coming home from school and finding the case not in the closet, but on the floor. One of the locks was open. I immediately thought ‘Oh my God, what’s this about?’ She said, ‘When your father gets home, we need to have a conversation.’ When my Dad got home, he came directly into my room and sat down in my room with me, and he said, ‘For you to find someone you love or like, you should be in better shape.’ It was kind of funny that at such an early age, he would be fat shaming me. Then he said ‘A well rounded man of any age would do well to have an eclectic reading selection.’ Then he said something along the lines of, ‘you have an interesting array of reading material. Just keep in mind that you probably won’t be able to act on things until you’re at least eighteen.’ My response was like “what?” Drummer wasn’t the only magazine that I had in there. I also had some Tom of Finland, which got him to say something along the lines of ‘the better you look, the better the gear fits.’ That one blew my mind.
“I didn’t try the classifieds until I was seventeen. I reached out to a few people listed as local in New York City. My first Master, Master Rob, was in a classified. I reached out to him. I believe I had to put in a code to reach somebody, so I sent him a letter. It came back ‘Return To Sender.” I sent it again to what I perceived was Master Rob’s address, and it came back again. But this time it came back and it was opened. This one said “checked by the Postal Inspector.” I was horrified. It came to my home address! I remember I would stand and wait for the mailman to see what went in the mailbox and I was doing this for weeks on end. Again, I got one that came back “checked by the Postal Inspector,” and it didn’t come back to me directly, but it was intercepted by my father. It seemed that the letter carrier stopped my Dad and said ‘someone needs to have a talk with their son.’ My father met me at the front door and we spoke in the hallway. He said ‘You can’t keep doing this stuff. Have it sent to a friend. Your mother is going to kill me if another one of these things arrives at the house.’”
Early Drummer encounters led to lifelong friendships and as Thor put it, “maybe a couple of dates.” I was fortunate enough to have met editor Tony DeBlase, who I told that Drummer was what inspired me to publish my two fetish magazines, Rubber Rebel and Vulcan America. He responded to this anecdote with a huge hug and a smile. And it was Drummer that brought me into the orbit of its legendary Editor-In-Chief Jack Fritscher, who gave me many tips about erotic writing. Editor Robert Davolt became a friend before his passing, and Master Ghee was in the office helping him out. “After I came back to San Francisco, I met Robert, then I volunteered to work with him at the office on Market Street because they had moved from the office where Worn Out West Two used to be. Now it’s just an art gallery. I don’t even remember what I did! I was always so excited getting the magazines. I really wanted to connect with people and I know that the first thing I would go to was the personals and then the stories.”
Those early encounters with Drummer also proved something to me that was very important: I was not crazy. Not only were there other people having the same thoughts I had, but they were also all over the country. All over the world. They published magazines about each other with pictures of themselves. And they put in information about contacting each other. For Master Ginger, it codified his glove fetish. “I would always love reading an article and coming across the fact that you had a Sir in the power exchange where the Dom would be putting on his leather gloves. Whenever I play, I’m almost always putting on my gloves.” It ran even deeper with Master Ghee. “Drummer taught me that there are so many different ways to express yourself. That there are so many ways to make love with another person.”
This was the ultimate effect of discovering Drummer. Finding like-minded men even when you thought there wasn’t anyone else in the world like you.
Author: Tim Brough
Photo Credit: DRUMMER Archives