How married men made me a better Dom
Story by: David Curtis
Photography by: Paul of Scotland
April 8, 2020
Things that got my attention in my youth, as well as getting my libido going? Tying someone to a stake while playing cowboys and Indians, the homoerotic scenes of James West bound and gagged in the ’60s TV series The Wild, Wild West, the blatant bondage scenes in The Three Stooges, and the knot-tying courses I took each year at Scout camp. It would seem inevitable that BDSM would become a part of my expression later, but the thing is, it only became a permanent part of my life through escorting. And it was only through my married clients that I was able to become the Dom I am today.
My escorting career began back in university. I met a pretty thing named Tammy back then who asked me many questions I hadn’t considered when we started dating. For example, one evening, when we had had a bit too much to drink, she asked if I ever thought about having sex with men. I said sure, I was attracted to certain men. I had never thought of myself as gay; rather, I figured that this sort of exploration was normal.
A couple of months later, she invited me to a weekend house party at a friend’s remote lodge. When we arrived at the party, it turned out to be an orgy. Not being shy about exploring, and after some top-shelf liquor, I soon went at it with some college girls and housewives.
A bit later, Tammy pulled me to the side and pointed to a good-looking man in his 40s. She explained that he wanted me to bareback him. I said, “No, absolutely not.” Although I told her in private that I’d thought about having sex with a man, I didn’t want it to be public. But her question left me wondering.
“It would seem inevitable that BDSM would become a part of my expression later, but the thing is, it only became a permanent part of my life through escorting.”
The next morning, Tammy called and said that the man from the night before would truly enjoy my company and had offered $250 for it. To a college student, that was a lot of money. My curiosity was piqued, not just because of the money, but because of the chance for that sort of sexual exploration. I said, “Sure.”
He was a gentleman, married with children, and had a son about my age. The encounter turned out to be very straightforward, and about an hour later, I left with cash and a nice tip.
Later that week, Tammy admitted that she worked for “the family business,” an agency that offered special services to an established clientele. They were very interested in hiring me. Apparently, I had all the characteristics they needed for their clients: my stature (I was 6’6” and about 320 lbs. at the time), my confidence, sense of self, and a willingness to learn. I was a quiet guy too.
I ended up saying yes.
I quickly had regular clients of various backgrounds, education, and experience. They were usually professionals like doctors, lawyers, executives, politicians, and business owners who were urbane, sophisticated, smart, accomplished men. And almost all were married.
The scenes varied, but I noticed another commonality amongst these men: they needed an escape from responsibility, and they wanted to submit and for me to dominate them. At first, the sessions were typical—a bottom craving a demanding top— but little by little, each client wanted to serve more.
“I was pushed further until my role was to control and dominate.”
I was pushed further until my role was to control and dominate. Some wanted to beg, lick my boots, or worship me on their knees. Others wanted to be restrained then gagged, to struggle against their bonds as I watched over them. They desired to be punished for not obeying orders and forced to do it again until it was right; until I was satisfied. As my skills expanded, so did my confidence. I knew what to expect, and my clients knew what was expected of them. I developed the fine art of kink and BDSM through these guys. The more I did, the better I became (and the happier my clients were).
Eventually, I started to arrive at each session wearing boots, blue jeans, a black t-shirt, gloves, wrist bands, and mirrored sunglasses, which is still my signature look today.
Single men—who were either gay or bi—would sometimes show up on the weekly call list, but they had much less influence on me. They seemed to be more pushy, arrogant, and manipulative when it came to sex, probably because they had more sexual freedom. My guess: through suppressed desires or the need for intimate company, married men were more compliant and appreciative, which in turn created a supportive environment for me to develop better as a Dom. Also, married men were more likely to be regulars, so we were able to build a rapport, which also helped in developing my skills.
I got an education that can only be learned from these types of experiences. They helped me realize the needs of men, their weaknesses, vulnerabilities, strengths, and stamina. I learned about the responsibility and trust involved in an intimate bond. I learned to listen without interrupting, and to be silent afterwards so they could rest and reflect. I heard their complaints when no one else would, as well as their ideas and thoughts for the future. A good Dom is responsible to his subs, respectful of limits, firm but yielding, capable of change, and most definitely private with what happens. I have carried these lessons, skills, and abilities on with me throughout my life. This was a truly special and personal education; one that very few get in a lifetime. And I got all this because of married men.
“They helped me realize the needs of men, their weaknesses, vulnerabilities, strengths, and stamina.”
