Fisting: The Long View
Story by: Larry Shockey
Photography by: Art: Taras Tolstikov
January 1, 2022
I have always been fascinated by butts. More specifically, butt holes. As a young gay man in the 1970s, my favorite game was to see how many fingers I could get into the butt hole of a play partner. Once I got to four, my mind would start racing, “what if he could take my entire hand?!” I folded in my thumb and pressed harder, with more conviction and, invariably, my buddy would call “Uncle!” and we would just get down to fucking. Back then I didn’t have a word for what it was I was trying to do. I was on the verge of a profound expansion of sexual experience through what we all know now as fisting.
As an active member of the fisting community for the past 30-odd years and a producer of fisting events since 2008, I have witnessed an evolution in the practice. In the 1990s, the community, wracked by the AIDS pandemic and having lost their local fisting venues, operated primarily off the grid, in the shadows. No one, and I mean no one, outside a fister’s innermost circle knew anything about what he was doing. It was really difficult for a newbie to break into the scene, and the “ick factor” among the vanilla crowd was the prevalent view of the day. Basically, if you weren’t into it, you didn’t understand it and there was no way you would ever let anyone put something that big into your precious tiny little hole for fear that it would be ruined forever.
Today, it has been said that “Fisting is the New Oral,” and if the influx of younger players is any indication, I would have to agree. It is also practiced much more openly. I have either witnessed or been part of all kinds of play from slow and intimate to extreme —what I like to call “Trick and Fancy Fisting”— two-handed fisting (called “doubles”), feet, piss, extreme depth, groups, tag teams, daisy chains, lingerie, puppy and pig play (while wearing masks) and punching (the withdrawal and insertion of a closed fist, sometimes rapidly).
Many guys, in public, in private, and on their Twitter feeds, like to display themselves shoving the biggest dildos they can find/afford up their holes. In other feeds you’ll find guys taking arms, multiple hands, or (sometimes) displaying HUGE rosebuds (the ability to turn one’s rectum inside out and push it through the anal sphincter into the light of day).
People often ask how they can train their hole to take more depth or width. You know, the whole, “Forget the VW, I want the semi trailer,” syndrome. My response typically is, “We are not all built for that sort of thing, but if you want to try, PRACTICE.”
Like many people in the fisting scene, I have fantasized about taking large toys, two hands and being fisted deep. Alas, this just does not appear to be how I am made. On occasion, I have taken two small hands and I could count on one hand the number of times I have been fisted to the elbow.
Many years ago, I finally decided to take the plunge and get a Prince Albert piercing. It was small, a .08. Afterwards, when I felt it was time to upsize, I simply went back to the store and bought the next larger size, went home and with a little soap and water slipped in until I got up to the size .00. It was just a natural progression. People would look at my .00 PA and exclaim, “Damn! That must have hurt!” My reply was always, “Trust me, it didn’t start out that way.” By comparison, my boy got a PA about 10 years ago. The piercing has never stretched and he has never upsized. He doesn’t want to. He is happy with the way things are.
Many guys want to start out using toys, which is a good alternative, but buying toys can be tricky. If you have ever taken a trip to your local purveyor of fetish equipment and perused the vast array of dildos on display, you know what I mean. And if you have ever purchased a toy that ended up being either way too small or way too large, you understand the predicament.
Thankfully there are some manufacturers of high quality silicone toys who are there to help out. Square Peg Toys has thoughtfully included a page on their website for beginners, as well as a learning center. Bad Dragon offers a choice of sizes for each toy as well as a choice of firmness. These are good places to start in your quest for toys.
My preference, and the way I started out, is under the tutelage of a patient fisting top. Not all tops like to work with beginners, so it is really important to be completely honest about the level of your experience when seeking out a training partner. Eye contact, breathing, and talking with each other are essential to navigating a successful scene even if the endpoint is not the complete insertion of a hand. The journey of 1,000 miles begins with a single step. Patience is a virtue. Enjoy the experience and leave your expectations at the door. These trite-sounding, overworked sayings are as important to those who have been fisting for years as they are for novices.
Sometimes people complain that they can “only” take a fist to the wrist. Honey! Think about all the poor men in the world who have never taken a dick, let alone a fist! Taking a fist—at all—puts you into a very elite percentile of the population worldwide.
If this is your path, enjoy the journey, and remember, it’s not always about size. It’s about what makes you happy. Personally, I’m happy with a VW. But if I got a chance to handle a big rig, I wouldn’t hesitate to drive down the wide open road.
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Bio
Larry has been fisting for more than 30 years and has conducted programs on fisting since 2005. In 2008, he produced his first fisting weekend, Spring FFling, at the Russian River in Guerneville, CA, and in September of that year, he produced his first San Francisco party, Hell Hole, which became a staple in San Francisco for 6 years.
In 2009, Larry published a booklet, “The Sacred Art of Fisting” to help pave the way for novice fisters and answer some of the basic questions about fisting play which can be found in the library section of the Handball Academy website.
In 2010, he founded Handball Academy, which achieved 501(c)(3) status in 2015. The mission of the Academy is to provide safer sex education and training to people in the fisting community. Typically, this has been accomplished through Novice Workshops, a 5 hour intensive, hands-in afternoon with time allotted for both discussion and practice, and through bi-monthly discussion nights.
In 2011, Larry took on Fist Fest, a summertime staple in Palm Springs for many years. Since then Fist Fest weekends have spread to Northern California, Michigan, Florida and Georgia. Fist Fest partners with the Academy which provides educational opportunities over the weekend.
Larry is a retired attorney living in San Francisco with his partner and their dogs.
