How I got into rubber
Story by: James JRubberCub
Photography by: Tightshinyrubber and PHOO//BAR
October 18, 2020
Diving into the rubber scene can be daunting for a newbie. I’ve been at it for about 17 years, so I’ve learned some important things along the way that might be helpful if you’re thinking you might be into rubber too. But first, we need to go back to the beginning…
I figured that I had a rubber fetish when I was about 13 years old. Curiosity and a teenage sex drive led me to search for stuff online. The excitement I felt looking at rubber clothing and porn made me realize that it was something I needed to explore more. I joined the site World Rubbermen (now Recon) when I was 15 years old. I was fascinated and turned on, plus I learned a lot about the fetish world in a short period of time. For example, I already knew what BDSM stood for, but CBT and FF were new to me.
I’m glad I had that exposure, but I’m not sure it’s the right way to go for young people, as I had some unsavory characters approach me on World Rubbermen because of my age. Once I’d turned 16, though, I also met some amazing guys on there, one of whom actually gave me my first ever piece of rubber: a neck-entry full suit. I remember putting it on for the first time and being simultaneously terrified I’d get stuck in it, and insanely turned on. After that, it was a slippery slope when it came to buying gear.
My first time in a fetish store was Regulation London, when I was maybe 19 years old. I was shitting myself when I walked in, but nobody there thought I was strange for wanting to wear rubber. It wasn’t like how I thought it would be. I bought a pair of shorts and a vest that day. I remember struggling into the shorts in the fitting room because I hadn’t used any talc to get them on—a rookie mistake.
“Fetish is incredibly personal.”
Anyway, when it comes to buying gear, my general rule of thumb is this: work out what you find horniest on others, and buy that. If it’s a full catsuit, save up and get that catsuit. Don’t buy a top instead just because you can afford it right now. At the end of the day, you’ll still want the catsuit.
Once I had some gear, my next step was to get my rubbered ass to some fetish events. I went to my first one when I was 18, and I was beyond nervous. It was Recon’s big summer party, Full Fetish. I didn’t know anyone and I spent most of the night drinking and chain-smoking to calm my nerves. It wasn’t the horniest night, but I left happy, knowing that I’d finally experienced that side of the scene.
After that, I started going to Rubber Reunion at The Backstreet in London, which was considerably smaller and much friendlier to a newbie. Smaller local bars are much better places to meet new playmates and friends than large events, and while they may seem intimidating, most of them are friendly, welcoming spaces. In fact, at The Backstreet, I met a few guys who mentored me and taught me how to navigate the scene.
I’d also choose a local fetish bar and club like The Backstreet over or an app or online fetish site any day. The apps and websites are great—they helped me when I was starting out—but there is no substitute for clocking someone in some horny gear from across a dark bar, cruising him, then (hopefully) playing with and getting to know him then and there, instead of having endless chats on an app. Another bad thing about apps is that we can’t feel the potential chemistry or animal attraction that can often override the constructs in our mind of what is or isn’t attractive.
I’ve learned a thing or two over the years. For example, if you wouldn’t enter a pageant in your local gay bar, or get involved with running a community group in your day-to-day life, I wouldn’t bother doing these things now. You’re no less of a fetishist because you’re not “visible,” “fetish famous,” or because you don’t go to all the socials. If it’s just about sex for you, that is perfectly fine.
Also, there are so many fetishes to enjoy that it sometimes feels like a lot of pressure to keep up. What I’ve learned is that it’s all about personal preference. I used to beat myself up for years about not being into certain activities, and I questioned whether I was a “proper fetishist” because I didn’t feel the urge to be a Dom or a sub, or take a fist. I think we are told, as kinky gay men, that we have to try everything, and if you’re not into extreme kinks, you’re less than others.
Through my experiences, I saw so few younger guys who were into rubber in the same way I was. I wanted full coverage and layers all the time. That was the most important thing for me; far more important than what I actually did in the gear. Most of the younger guys I saw wore rubber because it got them the play they wanted, rather than it being the main thing. Eventually, it dawned on me that I needed to stop comparing myself to others. My rubber fetish is mine, and I need to do it how I want to do it. I stopped forcing myself into having sessions I wasn’t really interested in, and I sold a lot of the gear that I’d only bought because I’d wanted to stand out at events, not because I’d found it horny.
There is also a stigma in the wider fetish scene as to how you should wear your gear, such as the strict and archaic uniform rules in the leather community. That’s also bullshit in my opinion. If you want to mix your rubber with trainers, lycra, sportswear, or leather, I say you can wear your gear however you want.
Fetish is incredibly personal. You need to do it how you feel comfortable. Never let anyone else try to define how your sex life should be. If I could go back in time and give my younger self some advice, I would tell him to stop overthinking it. Let what you find horny lead your journey, not what others say you should find horny. Don’t compare yourself to others, or to what others are into. There are playmates and partners out there for everyone, and if you just embrace it, you’ll have a great time!
