Black Masters & BBC
Story by: Q Darkqwolf
Photography by: Tom Roper
April 8, 2020
It seems strange to even have to say it in this day and age. What with how the leather scene (and sex in general) has become so politicized and socially conscious—for better or for worse—you’d think it’d be a given. Except it’s not. The sexual stereotypes of Black men are endless. From the granddaddy of them all, the Mandingo—a slavery-era stereotype which asserts that Black men are virile, hypersexual, and lustful for white flesh—down through snow queens, thugs, and athletes. Such stereotypes, in turn, fuel fetishization.
In the gay leather and kink scene, I’ve found that we are mainly fetishized in one of two ways: as Black Masters, and everyone’s favorite, BBC: Big. Black. Cock.
THE BLACK MASTER
The Black Master is one sexual stereotype folks don’t really talk about, probably cuz of how racially charged it is. It’s been years since I was on apps. For a while Recon was a great way to connect with other kinksters until I noticed how often I’d get hit up by guys looking for this one particular thing: a Black Master to be enslaved by. It’s almost like a kinda hand-me-down from Mandingo—strong, Black bucks overpowering their white counterparts. Sexually only. Never intellectually or socially, mind you.
Now you’d think the opportunity to have the upper hand in a racial dynamic for once would be appealing…but not for me. The first few times I brushed it off, but it happened enough that, after getting the sense that this was “a thing,” I left the site. It wasn’t because I was angered or triggered, since I expect racial microaggressions, even in a sexualized context. Nor was any approach particularly aggressive or offensive, since white subs seeking this kind of thing don’t approach Doms with anything less than deference. I left because it’s so fucking problematic; it’s based on the single most cripplingly defining period of the African diaspora: slavery.
So don’t ask me to be your Black Master.
BBC
But here’s what: the Black Master thing isn’t the worst of it. The racially charged nature surrounding it makes it less casual than the seemingly innocuous BBC.
In more ways than not, it’s what Black men have been reduced to. It’s become a kind of shortcut used by some white guys to refer to Black men. They even use it when they’re around us. Names are unimportant to them. Attributes? BBC has got you covered.
You know when something’s the most dangerous or hurtful? When it becomes socially acceptable. What’s passed off as a harmless identifier, compliment, or sex talk—Big Black Cock!—has become codified and commodified. It seems like everyone uses it. It’s even been adopted by the very men it demeans because hey, we’re Black and our cocks are big, right? Sure. Totally.
Just recently, while I was away in Provincetown, a friend of a friend was going on about his sexual escapades, literally saying “this BBC” in reference to the dude. Effortlessly. Carelessly. Adding insult to injury, he didn’t even bother to correct himself as I was standing right fuckin’ there. Looking at him. Dead in his face.
“The Black Master is one sexual stereotype folks don’t really talk about, probably cuz of how racially charged it is.”
Just as I was about to pull my friend to the side to tell him to get his friend together, he repeated it: “This BBC…” and I lost it.
“I’m gonna need you to not say that shit around me again,” I said. Nothing about my tone, delivery, or the look on my face gave the impression that it was a request, because it wasn’t one. Nor was it up for discussion. I’m sure he thought that kinda talk was cool cuz aren’t you Black? Ain’t your cock big? Who’s gonna object? And I guess it’s also cool as long as you don’t call ’em a hung ni…
He checked himself and stayed checked for the rest of the weekend.
“BUT IT’S JUST A PREFERENCE!”
Sometimes, preference isn’t a bad thing. My husband, for example, is mainly into Black men. When we met, I could sense this about him, but it wasn’t from the usual cues. He wasn’t just looking “at me” or, even worse, around me for the next Black guy. The difference between him and some of the others was he was looking into me. The Blackness of my skin, while desirable, wasn’t his main interest. It was the Blackness of who and what I was that drove his attraction and, in turn, love.
I get that stereotypes can be desirable. Desire isn’t something that can necessarily be controlled or even policed, but it’s definitely something that you can become more aware of. Desire crosses into fetishization depending upon how you see, approach, or engage someone. Ask yourself questions that can help navigate whether you’re desiring or fetishizing somebody. Is your desire skin deep, or are you looking at the whole person? Could you swap out their race or ethnicity for another and feel more or less the same? The answers to questions like these can help you to check in on your intentions and motives.
I believe that the mark of a man is self-responsibility; it’s also how he treats his fellows. Look at those things within yourself, and I’m pretty sure you’ll be able to truly look at others—and actually see them.
“You know when something’s the most dangerous or hurtful? When it becomes socially acceptable.”
